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Strategy for Finding Romance after Fifty

By Richard O. Jones  

       In January 2009, my wife of ten years filed for divorce, which gradually, after the initial sting wore off, and my sprint of emotionalism ran its course, sent me grazing into the green pasture of the senior dating scene. The field of single seniors is not barren. The vastness of single males and females over fifty is astounding. Nevertheless, my thought became where or how in the world was I going to meet somebody’s grandmother or great grandmother especially one that was walking and breathing under her own power. To my delight, I discovered the Internet Senior Dating and browsed several of the websites, ultimately joining two, but discovered more than I cared to count.

     Recent statistics indicate that 49% of people over 50 are single. Makes sense then that this is a growing group of dating enthusiasts. It is now recognized as one of the fastest growing niches across the planet. Single seniors the world over are now opting to look for new companions, friends, lovers, and spouses in cyberspace as opposed to the more traditional venues of cruise ships, bowling clubs, and church socials. Why leave the comfort of your own home to find a new friend if you don't have to? This can be especially advantageous for those who do not have access to cars, transportation, or don't feel comfortable meeting strangers in public. Seniors dating online can be an excellent opportunity to meet exciting new friends and I encourage it. You need never go anywhere on your own ever again. Find a chess mate, a local movie fan, an art lover, a traveling companion, or a new spouse.

     However, several of the males and females that I have become acquaintances with have confided in me that even in cyberspace their search for a good man bears little fruit. On close observation, I noticed that in most of their written profiles, and I’ve read hundreds, the women inadvertently write things about themselves and/or their preferences in men that are more of a turn-off than an attraction. First off, too many women find it necessary to put their foot down before they even met the man. For example they subtlety or blatantly let it be known that they are aggressive and argument prone. Well, the problem with that logic is that very few men will knowingly sign-up for a relationship of combat. This deters men because they see this particular woman with her sleeves rolled up and a rolling pin clinched in her hand.

      Another drawback is being overzealous about religion. Over ninety percent of the black senior divorced women on Internet dating websites not only proclaim their Christianity but also state that their new friend has to be a Christian. This greatly narrows the field. A man does not have to call himself a Christian to be a good, honest, monogamous man. Plus the fact that an every man or woman that is a Christian does not imply that he or she is a good mate or even rational on a personal level.

         Women have shared with me that many of the men online are intimidated by secure women or just downright too vain and/or shallow. As a result, unfortunately, there is a silent movement for many male and female seniors to pledge not to concern themselves with finding a mate and live happily ever after alone.  To this end, I have created a newsletter that goes via email to subscribers only. This newsletter is to discuss and exchange ideas about social activities and gathering for group outings on occasion.  Advise on how to meet and behave without seeming too anxious or too shy or putting on pretense will be shared in newsletter. Subscribers may sent advice, opinions, share experiences, and post their news in the newsletter.

Subscribers must be over fifty.